his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
