In the future we'll all be gay
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
