Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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