Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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