NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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