My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
