I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
