a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
