I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
