she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he puts the penis in happiness.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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