I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
