yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
