Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your penis caused this!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
