What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
