If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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