is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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