yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
