What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize