Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
