it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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