Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
