At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
