shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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