marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
