It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I know her cup size but not her name....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
