So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
