y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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