So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
