Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
