the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
