Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
