I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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