"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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