I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
3pm strippers are depressing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
