I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
