Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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