Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
