I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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