Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
