whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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