Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
