I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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