a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
