Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
