): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
