I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
