I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
