my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
