if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I smell stomach acid.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
