I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
