I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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