remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
