Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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